Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
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