I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Randomize