im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
