At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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