Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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