Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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