So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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