The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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