i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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