Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
