Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
wanna go halves on a baby?
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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