I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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