we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
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