I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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