so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
