Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
