she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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