It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
