Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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