those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
