yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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