The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
