i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
