So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
