We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Well I just put wine in my tea
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Randomize
