I look better un-naked...
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
In other news, I just burned my penis
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Randomize
