If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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