some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
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