i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
