Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Randomize
