they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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