Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I think i got beer on your cat.
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