My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
