I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
