so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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