He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
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