isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
