i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
