so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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