I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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