I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Randomize
