I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
