goodnight i made you a song goodbye
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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