Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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