sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Randomize
