I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
