I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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