they said they heard you say put it in my butt
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
