she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Randomize
