The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
