I accidentally had phone sex last night
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Randomize
