why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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