Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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