so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
