Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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