just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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