i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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