It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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