Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
