I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
